Lately I’ve found myself to be pretty short on patience when it comes to parenting Zizi. I’ve searched my brain and I really don’t have any justification for it. She’s not a badly behaved kid. She goes to school three mornings a week. I have a maid to do housework.
The whining (on her part…hm, and maybe mine?) has stepped up since she started school. It could be she’s picking up new habits from other kids at school. But what I really need is new tools and some reminders on how to parent her the way I really want to parent her.
I went back to my only book on the subject (“Raise Your Kids Without Raising Your Voice”) and the big *ding* for me was one of the premises the book is based on – 80% of your interactions with your child should be positive from the child’s point of view. It meant I should be saying “yes” to Zizi a whole lot more and doing it happily. So that’s what I started doing and it’s been a great shift for me. It automatically means the relationship is about us rather than me versus her.
And a good reminder is to know that parents aren’t perfect! I’ve been feeling imperfect in that department for a few weeks now but I do feel better knowing that I’m trying to do better. For us.