Motherhood

I know very little about really being a ‘mother’.  I remember when I first went into early labour (sans details) with Zizi and I called the doctor and he said, “Congratulations, you’ll be a mother within 36 hours”.  And I thought, “What?! No, I don’t want to be a mother – I just wanted to have a baby.”

There was very little connection between having an alien-like being kick and move around my belly and the baby that finally emerged.  And after that, I was just winging it.  When I look back, I was reeeeeeally nervous about the baby crying which she did.  A lot.  And that was probably colic.  Maybe identifying it as something other than me doing a bad job would have helped.

Now that Z is a bit older, I don’t have a set strategy with her other than to let her just ‘be’.  I try not to set too many restrictions on her (for example, touching dirt here is a big no-no although it was a little bit uncomfortable watching her lay down on the ground and lick it while we were at a restaurant yesterday). 

And I guess I kind of let her be early on too…I fed her when she needed to be fed, let her sleep when she wanted to sleep without trying to stick to any particular schedule.  I know I already feel differently about this new baby.  At least, I identify myself more as a parent and I most definitely know what to expect in those early months.  I hope I can let this baby just ‘be’ and even let myself sink into motherhood more deeply in the calmest and most enjoyable ways.

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2 thoughts on “Motherhood

  1. Sara, I didn’t know you were pregnant again! Fantastic news. I like your blog. Not being a parent or know anything about baby stuff, it’s interesting to see your take on things. Best of luck with the birth. Sounds like a good facility and the doctor sounds pretty much like many doctors here too. Just like home!

  2. Sara,
    I found I was so much more relaxed with Gwenyth (poor Jack he will always be the first born…first run through of my parenting skills in all aspects of his life, lst tantrum 1st puperty, 1st date etc)
    I am enjoying gwenyth so much more…my mind worries less about her because I have parented a baby before…she is a really easy baby too!!

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